when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
