just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
