Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
