He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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