It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
