I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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