We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
