I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
