Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
