Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
This house was built for laser tag.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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