Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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