Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
