That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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