My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
