Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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