I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
