If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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