Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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