Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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