2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Randomize
