I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
