She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
