The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
