as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
