Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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