Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
