I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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