Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
