Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
