"it" just moved
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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