I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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