well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
