Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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