hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
