i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
