I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I wish my penis had an off switch
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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