get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize