Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
