I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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