id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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