The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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