I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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