So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
