I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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