Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
