Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
