if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
