the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
