Pappa wants mamma naked
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
