Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Randomize
