somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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