Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
