she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
