This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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