You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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