dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
