tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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