you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
