Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
