I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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