it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
