At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
