we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
