I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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