I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
